Geekshow

Ravings of a Big Bad Geek!!! – Dragonball: Evolution

The first movie to feel my wrath in my new weekly opinion piece is Dragonball: Evolution.

The next glaring problem that rears it’s ugly head in with this movie is the problem of color. Now this can just be chalked up to fanboy pickyness, but how would you feel if they decided to make a Superman movie without the blue suit and red S shield!? My point exactly! For example, Bulma’s hair is not all blue. Now there is no greater way to infuriate a bunch of Dragonball fans then by not making Bulma’s hair all blue. That just pisses us off so much!!! Also, in the early screenshots and photos we were given of the movie, it appeared that Piccolo was not going to be all green but a little yellowish…and then a million fanboys screamed out in displeasure like Darth Vader at the end of Episode III. I swear, that’s even worse than Bulma not having blue hair. That’s like making the Hulk red… oh, I forgot, they did that!!! However, in the most recent trailer, the shots of Piccolo appear to have him in his all green skin tone glory like he should be. So, bullet dodge there… but with about a million more coming, I don’t think even Neo can dodge them all!

Another problem I have, and one that the new trailer showed, is the origin of the dragon balls. How the hell can you give us a story about Dragonball where Kami wasn’t the one who created them!!! That is a big fraking problem if you asked me. A Namekian has to be the one who created the dragon balls, otherwise you’re gonna have some serious story problems by the time you get to the Freiza saga; If the movies even make it that far anyway. Being a Namekian is pretty much one the of the few reasons why Lord Piccolo even knows about the dragon balls in the first place! It just stikes me as borderline retarded to even mess with that much of the origin story in the first place. The writers really dropped the dragon ball on that one there. Stupid pun intended.

And as for the most recent problem I have with the development of this movie: the subtitle. Why in the name of all that is holey do we need to have a subtitle for the first damn movie in the series!? And not even a cool one, but a bland and generic one such as “Evolution!” The only thing the subtitle will do is just make people think that it’s a sequel, which is most certainly isn’t. I’d like to know what the hell was wrong with it just being called Dragonball in the first place. Did the studio heads think they needed to add more to it to make it sound cool? Fraking dumb!

Now, for the things they got right. Even though I know people will disagree with me on this, I believe that this movie was casted pretty damn well. Having Spike himself, James Marsters, play the evil Lord Piccolo is a stroke of genius in my opinion. Yellow skin not withstanding, but still the man looks great in the part. Having Chow Yun Fat play the wise Master Roshi is pretty good as well, though I would have preferred Jackie Chan in the role. The rest of the cast is a good mix of Asian and Caucasian actors to appease the fans from both America and Japan, even though if you visit the IMDB message board for the film, both sides are still bitching about it. And Goku is rightfully a white guy since he is technically an alien, which those stupidheads might wind up screwing up in this movie somehow, but I believe they wont seeing how I’ve read that Goku will be going Oozaru in the film. I just hope they get the look of that right or the geeks will cry for bloody murder even more. So overall, the casting is pretty decent with James Marsters being the gem among the group.

Now, since I have yet to see the film, I cannot properly judge just how much the film is going to be a true adaptation of the manga or anime. We already know the things they fraked up, but there are other things as well that look like they got right. Hopefully they’ll being adding Krillin in the sequel for the Saiyan Saga if they decide to make it. Otherwise they’ll totally be fraked! However, Final judgment cannot be had until I see the very end of the credits from the last reel of film. This will either wind up being a good adaptation that remains mostly faithful to the series and keep the spirit alive(Lord of the Rings), or it will wind up being an overblown clusterf@#k of an adaptation which will make fan boys weep in their mama’s arms(Transformers). Until April rolls around, all we can do is wait.

UPDATE: This is just far too amusing for me not to post. Describes my feelings perfectly.

Hitler Learns of the Dragonball Live Action Movie

SpikeBad – Ravings of a Big Bad Geek!!!